How do I believe in god when my mom doesn't believe?

My mom totally hates the Christan religion. I SOOOOO want to believe BUT I don't know how :( Please anyone With any tips. Should I keep it secret? Confront her? She will be totally disproving of me. So I want to keep it secret. but by doing that there would be NO POSSIBLE way of getting a bible. I have no money and I'm too young to drive. Help me :( PLEASE?